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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry you are going through this. Been there as well. Marriage counseling has actually been what has helped us the most to get on the same page and learn to communicate better with each other. We did not want our child's issues to destroy our marriage, and it easily can. This is a hard period, but things greatly improved when we began to show a united front. I needed DH to to step up and thankfully after a LOT of work by both of us, we've become aligned and much better at communicating. Good luck OP.

One other thing, we had to find something our  DS loved to do or have that we could use as the carrot, and the stick. No work meant none of whatever he wanted. Meds would be an absolute requirement for me if he needed it. That's where DH and I had to work hard to get on the same page. We considered military school and DS was aware that this was an option if he didn't shape up. However, he did eventually find the benefits of counseling, meds, good sleep, adequate food and exercise. It took time, but his motivation grew over time. He's 16 now, still a hot mess, but trying so much harder and has a decent attitude most of the time. 9th grade was the hardest for us.

Hang in there![/quote]

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