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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1.  I'm generally not a fan of free trips with strings attached.  I don't think you mean to come off like this but it's very much a "look at all I'm doing for her!  The least she could do is help with the kids!!".  Except you're presenting it to her as a gift.  Gifts shouldnt come with the expectation that she somehow makes it up to you.   I think having her watch the kids while you go for a walk or run to the grocery store or things like that is fine.  Date night or things like that?  I would pay her.

Now, if I was her mom I would absolutely expect her to help out with the kids unpaid and be thankful for this vacation.

2.  No, they shouldn't be expected to cancel plans.  It's ok for the bride to be upset but she shouldn't be mean about it.  It's definitely overstepping to suggest other places to the bride.   Your disdain for the bride is obvious, which is definitely not a good look for you.  [/quote]

agree with this.

If you want her to babysit, pay her for that time. this also keeps it clear when she is actually babysitting (I could see you slipping into taking longer daily walks, etc, bc you assume she is always available to sit). Make it clear and pay her.

The trip is either a gift, or its a job. You want it both ways. [/quote]

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