Reply to DH is dismissive of my input about SD(10)

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[quote=Anonymous]The only advice I can give you is that YOU need to find a therapist who specializes in stepfamily issues. Even then, the prognosis is not good because I think your DH has placed his daughter on a pedestal and he will be very reluctant to bring her back down to earth.

As she enters her tween/teen years, it will only get worse. She will assert her primacy with your DH playing her "power" as daughter against yours as his wife. Sleeping in your bedroom is just the tip of the iceberg. (Which IMO should not have been allowed for any of your kids, including yours.)

The fact your DH cannot bear even the slightest criticism of SD, despite it being reasonable, is highly problematic. I would be very concerned about this if I were you. This can also have bearing on the other children in the house. They will pick up that there are different rules for SD and she is not subject to the same rules they are.

FWIW, the most difficult relationship to try and develop is one between a SM and a SD. It is usually fraught with many problems. There is often a deep psychology at work which even therapy cannot often fix.

Go talk to a professional about this, alone at first. Then ask your DH to go with you and see if therapist can assist in his mindset.

If not, I am afraid you are in for a lifetime of being in the difficult position of being the "evil stepmother" who is standing between a father and his daughter.

And when I say lifetime, I mean it. I know of people who have SDs in their 60s who are still creating difficulties within families.

Good luck.

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