Reply to If you have successful well adjusted adult children, what did you do right?

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Reply to "If you have successful well adjusted adult children, what did you do right?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much of their success and well adjustedness stems from parenting and the home environment? What did you do right? [/quote]

IMO, a lot comes from expecting the kids to be responsible growing up.  At levels appropriate for their age, and continuing to grow those expectations, while providing your kids with the tools to succeed.

For example, my kids helped with age appropriate chores around the house from a young age.  We provided everything they needed, but we expected them to be a part of the family and contribute (without complaining all the time ;-) )

By MS my kids knew how to do laundry, cook a basic dinner, clean up and take care of the pets.  We gave them more and more freedoms and responsibilities, and they knew if they did well, it would continue, if they wobbled, we might have to pull some of the freedoms back for a bit.

However, by age 13/14 we could leave the oldest home alone for the night in charge of the younger sibling (4 years younger).  They knew how to order pizza if needed and safely "cook" basic meals (they are 26 now, so pre-Uber Eats at that point).  They knew which adult friends/neighbors to contact if there were an issue/emergency.  That grew to us leaving the 16/17 yo in charge for a week (during school year) while we adults travelled.  The kids were fine, the oldest loved being in charge/responsible and was trustworthy.  So was the youngest at similar ages.

What this meant was our kids had a lot of experience being "responsible" by the time they hit HS and college, so they didn't do as much "dumb things" without parents around.

We also taught them how to budget, save for a "wish item" and how to make choices of where to spend your money.  If you only have $50 and you want a $200 item, we might contribute some, but they had to learn to "delay gratification" and save for it.    They are now fully functioning adults, on their own, in their 20s, with good jobs.  And they know how to live within a budget, what are needs vs wants, etc. 
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