Reply to Christmas Stress/Rigidity

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[quote=Anonymous]13 yo dd has ASD1 and anxiety. Every year, Christmas is a huge stressor for me. I try to prep her about it, but every year there is some meltdown on Christmas, and it makes me angry as one who works so hard to make it a wonderful time, and I hate that my other dcs (all younger) have to deal with her crying /demands on Christmas. I know I need to work on my own feelings and responses (this is a recent dx, so I am still working on finding a therapist)- but I was wondering if there was anything we could do to help set expectations for this day.

She is a top 10 student in her grade of 120 - I don't know if she is past the point of "social stories." But basically if anything is unexpected or not in her exact vision of what Christmas morning will look like - if she gets too many things not on her list, if she gets too many "need" (rather than "want") gifts, if she gets a gift that will mean she has to get rid of something else (like something in a larger size to replace something that is too small), if she gets fewer gifts than a sibling, if she gets a gift she has to share (like a board game) - - she will just get all upset and will just silently cry through Christmas morning.  Any suggestions for helpful things we can do to prepare her or ourselves? She knows practical gifts are part of the deal if she wants to have the same number of presents as her siblings - she is very equity minded. I think she would just prefer for everyone to have fewer things, but we already don't go crazy imo. She has already started crying because she has braces now and is worried she won't be able to eat Christmas dinner and worried we won't about when we will decorate for Christmas since we are traveling for Thanksgiving and worried that Grandma found her something at the museum store when she did not ask for something from the museum store. It is too much - for both of us. Would love any advice or suggestions. [/quote]

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