Reply to s/o Gift giving as a form of aggression

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When I turned 40, my mom gave me a gift card to J.Jill, a store I have literally never shopped at and associate with much older women. She had never purchased anything from there for me before and I'd never mentioned I like that store or wanted anything from there. She also usually doesn't give me gift cards. It 100% felt like my mom saying "hahahaha now you're old." I wasn't even feeling worked up about turning 40 but I recall that gift really feeling like an attack.

Or maybe she is just getting older. She's always been pretty clueless about my approach to fashion/style (she's given me many clothes over the years that just have nothing to do with how I actually dress). Maybe it wasn't passive aggressive at all and she just thought I'd like something from that store. I don't know. Maybe my reaction was entirely about my ambivalence about turning 40 and the gift was actually just a nice gesture.

Maybe.[/quote]

I personally wouldn't have gotten upset over this and I think you were reading waaaay too much into it.

I would bet your mother (who was in her 60s?) probably thought J.Jill was actually a store that appealed to "younger" women and was not a dig at you at all. Giving you a gift card meant she wasn't sure what you would want and was being considerate, IMO.

If she wanted to be nasty, she could have easily bought you a pair of orthopedic shoes and put a bow on them. Now that's passive-aggressive. [/quote]

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