Reply to s/o Gift giving as a form of aggression

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for the posts. I did get therapy for other reasons with them,but shared the gift stories and the therapist was pretty stunned. I have no interest in gifts for me ever again and my husband and kids respect that, but I am happy to give gifts to others, and I do detective work make sure it's what they would want, and I give gift receipts in case it isn't. I do enjoy time with close friends and that is all the gift I need. I have distanced from the nutty part of the family. I just wondered if anyone relates and I guess they don't.[/quote]

I do. I have a sibling (I refuse to use the word "sister" as she's never been one) who is exactly like this - maybe worse.

She is an evil manipulative person and I haven't had anything to do with her for years. But prior to that, she would pull this kind of so-called gift giving all the time. She'd determine if you had some sort of weakness or failing in her eyes and she would give you a gift to help you fix it. (Like the vacuum cleaner.)

I think the worst one was when she went to an industry trade show and went around collecting all the free swag, getting multiples of them. She then divided them up, put them in boxes and wrapped them up as Christmas gifts. My other sibling and I opened up these boxes and she actually got pissed off when we didn't sufficiently "thank" her for her "thoughtfulness" in going around and picking up this free crap.

She is a vindictive narcissist - has been her whole life. They do not change. She was a nasty kid, a mean teen, and an awful adult. I don't miss her negativity in my life whatsoever. If your situation is just as bad, OP, then I suggest you consider estrangement. [/quote]

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