Reply to Navigating adult friendships is confusing. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous]There could be a lot of things. Maybe she realized that she's sort of led you on but doesn't have enough time/energy in her life to devote to a friendship, and she is pulling back awkwardly. Like, she wants you as an occasional secondary friend but not a close friend, and she overreached. In that situation, it's up to you whether to pull back all the way or to let the friendship remain secondary. Certainly, it doesn't feel great to be the person who wants more closeness while the other person isn't interested.

I think this is the flipside of boundary setting that everyone is always recommending. She is setting boundaries but it feels like a rejection.

(Or maybe it's something else entirely.)

FWIW, what I usually do is pull back some but don't burn bridges, sometimes people will come around at some later point, it's still easier to salvage those friendships than start completely from scratch, but of course now you know that she is very unlikely to ever become a true friend.

Whatever you do, don't go down the path of "what did I do wrong," it's a kind of self-punishment you do not deserve.[/quote]

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