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[quote=Anonymous]DCUM Police
(sung to the tune of “Karma Police” by Radiohead)

DCUM Police, arrest this mom,
She’s humblebragging again — her kid got into Stanford.
DCUM Police, arrest this dad,
His son’s GPA’s too high, and his tone’s too glad.

[Chorus]
This is what you get,
This is what you get,
This is what you get when you post your joy.

DCUM Police, I gave all I can,
I told her “WashU’s just as good,” with a smirk and a plan.
I typed through my tears, “T-20’s a myth,”
While bookmarking Princeton — I’m fine with this.

[Chorus]
This is what you get,
This is what you get,
This is what you get when you dream out loud.

[Bridge]
For a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself.
For a minute there, I thought my kid might…
Get into Yale…

DCUM Police, it’s all in good fun,
We crush each other’s hope and call it “wisdom.”
Oh, “Tufts is the new Brown,” they say,
As they type “UChicago’s amazing — but in a real way.*”

[Outro]
For a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself.
For a minute there, I thought we weren’t…
All the same.[/quote]

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