Reply to Any shared insights / lessons learned on designing best-for-kids custody situations

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[quote=Anonymous]IMO the best thing would be for your STBX to get a different job or expert some boundaries at work, rather than leaning on his ex-wife to be constantly on call and skipping out on his parenting time on short notice. If your real goal is stability and parent involvement, his chaotic work schedule isn't going to be conducive to that. I also do not think 80/20 is in their best interests if he is a competent parent. 20 just isn't enough, period. They'll realize he doesn't want the time with them badly enough to change jobs.

You need to really consider why your STBX is okay with 20%, and has gotten an apartment in a less convenient place that requires them to share a room. It's almost like he doesn't care about having them much...

Yes it is typical for kids to resist either the new home itself or the requirement that they transition. Nobody wants to live in two houses, that is why! It's a pain. It's time-consuming. It takes up their bandwidth. As they become tweens and teens, they may resist it more, because they will be feeling a drive for autonomy. And if they come to dislike either home for whatever reason (logistical, shared room, new stepfamily, whatever), then they'll resist it because of that.

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