Reply to Any shared insights / lessons learned on designing best-for-kids custody situations

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[quote=Anonymous]Looking for some wisdom or "been there done that" advice on our situation. Assume a best-interest standard rather than a default 50/50 setup, with both parents currently cooperative and focused on co-parenting effectively. The children are in early elementary school.

Both parents work and can afford some childcare support (afterschool coverage and occasional babysitting). I (the mother) have historically managed the children’s lives and routines—drop-off, pick-up, bedtime—and have a more flexible job. The father’s work can include unexpected early mornings, late nights, and travel. We both agree that an every-other-week 50/50 schedule isn’t the best fit for our family right now. The children’s school and friends are near our home, which we both agree I will keep. The father’s apartment is farther from school and smaller (the kids share a room there).

We are discussing something closer to a 70/30 or 80/20 schedule to keep routines consistent, while still giving both parents meaningful time with the kids. I’d love to hear from anyone who’s found a schedule along these lines that works well for children of this age. We would like to balance stability, parent involvement, and time for each parent to recharge.

For those who have been through similar transitions, did your arrangements evolve as your kids got older, and if so, what worked best long-term? Also, is it typical for kids to initially resist time at the other parent’s new home, even when the co-parenting relationship is positive?[/quote]

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