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[quote=Anonymous]Not sure if it is helpful, but I would share some personal experiences. My DH and two kids are all on the spectrum. My DH is not affectionate to our kids physically, and I have been encouraging him to show them that he cares and loves them through words and hugs. I always want them to foster deeper father and son & father and daughter relationship. My son and my daughter are too affectionate with no sense of personal space and boundary to family members and outsiders. It takes me a lot of nagging since they were little that they cannot allow anybody to touch them, no changing in public, and close door using bathroom(even at home) etc.. My tween son tells me that he hugs me and put arms around me etc is the way to show that he loves me. He loves to sits close to me etc.  I tell him that I love him too but he needs to be careful where his arms or body touch me because I am a mom and a woman as well. I don't want him to hug people around that cause people discomfort and he is not a little kid anymore.  I am thankful that he does not randomly hugs his friends around . He rarely hugs his sister probably he finds her annoying sometimes. As a mom, I don't want him to be perceived as a creep. I have seen father kisses tween/adult daughters on the lips which is more gross.

Op, since your DH is on the spectrum, the putting arm around shoulder & constantly invading her personal space/privacy maybe is his way to show his love to his daughter. Your daughter has her rights to express how she feels and how she would rather want to be treated. Tween is sensitive age, and it is good that
she shares her feeling with therapist. Divorce is a big thing, try not to distance father daughter relationship unless you have a more valid reason or proof. [/quote]

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