Reply to SN “Believers” vs SN “Non-Believers” - how to do what is in the best interest of a child

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Reply to "SN “Believers” vs SN “Non-Believers” - how to do what is in the best interest of a child"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I understand this dichotomy but I think both in that other thread and in your question, the implication is that there are real, documented problems (with behavior, academics, or mental health) that teachers or other professionals have flagged as needing to be addressed. In that case, I think the answer is ALWAYS to get the neuropsych and explore what is *causing* the problem. Yes there may be parenting/disciplinary issues at play, but often these are intertwined with special needs because sometimes standard parenting and disciplinary approaches don't work or even directly backfire due to how a kid's brain is wired or a disability that makes it impossible for them to meet expectations without some kind of support.

The resistant parent who doesn't want to pursue a diagnosis because "the problem is he just doesn't listen" is a real phenomenon, but the response is always: yes, you are right, he doesn't listen -- let's find out why so we can address it. Believing your struggling child is just not trying enough or is insufficiently motivated to do what is asked despite exhausted, frustrated parents and teachers, is just foolish. You need to get to the root of the problem.

Where I think your question actually applies is in situations where kids demonstrate some possible signs of SNs but there are no flagged issues. These are the "quirky" kids who need to be parented differently but do fine at school. The top student who is also a severely picky eater (but not malnourished) who doesn't seem to make friends but also doesn't seem to mind. These kids are trickier because it's like, when do you just accept the quirkiness as totally acceptable personality traits, and when do you intervene to try and spare them social and professional struggles as adults? It's hard and there aren't perfect answers here.

But the kid coming home with behavioral issues or struggling to keep up in class? Get them help! That's just the obvious answer. Get them tested, do whatever it takes, there is no benefit to just trying to go it alone with a kid who is struggling in this way.[/quote]

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