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[quote=Anonymous]Been married about 19 years and recently noticed that my husband’s behavior, what I call selfish, has intensified. Yesterday he did a thing that I described to my friend and she said he did a DARVO and when I looked it up, it exactly described what I experienced. Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender.  He did it, in almost exact detail, to one of our children last week. This morning I looked up subtle signs of emotional abusive relationships and found that I’m experiencing about half of them but he’s not violent and he doesn’t threaten me or make me fearful in any way of anything other than he has threatened to leave me recently, which makes me feel emotionally unsafe. These: #10: Making you feel guilty for their behavior
#9: Invalidating your feelings
#8: Dismissive or withholding affection
#7: Monitoring or controlling your actions (he only controls my actions like spending although my income is double his).
#5: Blaming you for their problems or feelings
But this is by far the worst:
#4: Gaslighting and manipulation

Any hope for this marriage? I’m giving myself a year to decide and will start seeing a counselor next week. It's "not that bad" but it's happening, and getting noticeably worse.
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