Reply to Kids on the block - do you "force" inclusion?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not push for my DD to hang out with Girl B, especially since she has repeatedly told you she doesn't want to. [b]This would actually be much trickier if your DD wanted to play with Girl B, but she doesn't[/b]. So no you do not push it or suggest she invite Girl B when she makes plans to play with Girl A. Be happy your DD has a school friend who lives nearby -- that is a massive gift.

I would reach out to the parents about the doorbell ringing, which is an unacceptable behavior that must stop immediately. In that conversation, I would also mention that you saw Girl B yelling at Girl A in a hurtful way at the bus stop, and you are concerned about the Girl B's well being. Try to emphasize that it's okay that Girl B is going through something tough, that you aren't judging them as parents, but that you felt they should be aware of these incidents.

And I would try to maintain empathy for Girl B, who probably does not want to behave this way and is almost certainly acting out to deal with some emotional issue that is not being properly addressed. These are maladaptive behaviors. She's seeking attention, and is so desperate for it that she doesn't even care if it's negative. She also appears to have a lot of anger that lacks a healthy outlet, and the anger might also be the result of fear or frustration that she is not allowed to express elsewhere. Kids whose emotional needs are not being met often develop these maladaptive behaviors because they just dont' know what else to do. I'd stay open to her getting better, I'd be kind when I interacted with her directly, I'd wish her the very best.

But I would not force my kid to hang out with her. Sometimes kids do need natural consequences, and the natural consequence of this girl's behavior is that other children don't want to play with her.[/quote]

+1 OP you're lucky your DD doesn't want to be around that behavior and emulate it. You sound crazy to me.[/quote]

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