Reply to How can I be a good mom when I hate my SIL?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP- you are my mom.  My aunt (now ex-aunt) is a miserable and vile person. She caused my mother many tears over her hurtful words and stabbing in the back.  When I was really little (like baby to 7), my mom tried to tolerate her the best she could for the sake of the cousins and her mom.  After one brutal Christmas where my aunt accused my mom of manipulating her mother into living with us (she lived in an in-law apt attached to our house from when I was 5 - 21) so that she could control her.   None of that was true, of course.  After that, I really didn't see my cousins until I was much older.

When I was 21, my grandmother passed away.  2 days after the funeral my ex-aunt threw out my uncle, saying that now that his mom is dead, she can finally ask for a divorce.   After that, my cousins and I really rekindled our friendship and one of them is now one of my closest friends.  My mom has also worked on her relationship with her brother, which was destroyed in the years that my mom and ex-aunt did not speak to each other.

Sorry for the tangent, but if you can, just try to suck it up for the time you have to see her.  If the kids are older, maybe do kid activities with just you and the kids and no SIL.  (My mom used to do this)   How do you feel about BIL?  How does DH feel about them?  Sometimes its worth it to drink some wine, hold your tongue, and as soon as SIL leaves, call your best friend to vent.  [/quote]

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