Reply to PTAs: I don't want to donate money to facilitate adults socializing with their friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm very invested in the PTA as a way to support the school, the students, and the teachers. Money that goes to classrooms or enrichment events for students (and, if appropriate, their families) is great and I'm happy to donate to that. Community events that are linked to academics or social-emotional learning at the school, and focused on the kids, are great --we will participate and donate time and money for those.

PTA events that are primarily about adults socializing with one another away from the school should not be PTA events unless they are fundRAISING events. PTA money should not be spent on those activities.

If you want to socialize with other parents at the school, that's great, do so. But it shouldn't be PTA sponsored. No one should be donating money to a PTA to facilitate adults social events. Especially when these events have little to do with building community, and more to do with ensuring [b]people who are already friends[/b] can get free food or entertainment, paid for by the PTA, while they hang out.[/quote]

You sound jealous OP. They are already friends because they are working hard together volunteering for their kids’ school. Not because they are a clique and you weren’t invited. Give it a try and you might make some friends too. [/quote]

At the first elementary school PTA I volunteered for, I had the distinct impression there was a clique of old friends who were set in their ways and not incredibly welcoming of new faces. Then their kids graduated, the atmosphere changed, a bunch of new people came in who didn't know each other, and it became a warm and friendly place! I never attended the end of year happy hour, which is perhaps what OP is talking about, but I can tell you we worked hard for that school, and became friendly from working together, as PP explained. Most people in all the PTAs I've volunteered for are full-time working parents and don't have time to socialize or chit-chat too long. I have often been the only stay-at-home parent on the board.

[/quote]

Honestly it sounds like you were friends with the new crew and not the old crew, since you were part of it. And I can guarantee you outsiders to your clique felt the same way you once did. They aren't stupid and can see that the group is "friendly" and they just naturally talk to each other not the new faces as much.[/quote]

DP but I disagree. At our old school, there was a huge shift in the tone of the PTA when a new president came in who wasn't part of the existing PTA clique. The old clique was still there and some still served on the board, but the new president was an outsider to their clique and didn't have an existing group of parent friends at the school. She was someone who was well known to people because she volunteered a lot but she didn't socialize with other parents.

It was amazing what a difference it made. The old PTA always seemed to expect people to just know when volunteers or other help were needed for things, and volunteer requests were always sent very late (like the night before an event) and in a tone of annoyance. They thought because they all knew what needed to happen, that everyone else did too, but it didn't occur to them that most people are not privy to conversations at the board-only meetings and also that parents of younger kids often have no idea what is needed because this is their oldest kid and they are just learning how schools work.

The new PTA president understood this implicitly. She always announced volunteer opportunities well in advance, at the main body PTA meetings and in the newsletter, and she encouraged non-board members to join committees for events and get involved early on. The difference was night and day, and it had nothing to do with the new prez being friends with other people. It had to to with her understanding that one of the main jobs of the PTA and PTA president is communication, and that the communication can't happen via casual conversations with your buddies on the board but via formal comms to the entire PTA community at meetings and via email blasts. It's crazy the old PTA presidents didn't get this because it's obvious, but they were more focused on hanging with their friends and complaining than on actually organizing parent support for the school.[/quote]

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