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[quote=Anonymous]DH and I separated last December (at my request, though it was a long time coming). Kids are adults and living on their own. I initially said I wanted a trial separation, but one in which we were each free to see other people, with an agreement to talk after 6 months to see how we were each feeling about ending the separation versus making it permanent. In May I told him I wanted to make the separation permanent and start talking about divorce. He was very upset and angry. He says after so many years of marriage I "owe it to him" to try harder to make it work. But I just. don't. want. to. anymore. I feel bad about it. He is not a terrible person. I care about him. But the marriage was very hard, and on the rocks for a very long time. It just took me years to admit it to myself, much less to him.

Since then I have also started dating someone. STBX-DH keeps demanding to know how often I am seeing New Guy, whether he ever comes to the house (still legally co-owned but he moved out last Dec).

I don't want to upset STBX-DH by telling the truth (which is that I see New Guy a lot, and of course he sometimes comes to the house: I live there!), but I don't want to lie to him, either. I've just been trying to avoid giving any answer. He has a history of being very controlling. I want to say, "It's none of your business anymore!" but that seems unkind. Any advice? Is it unreasonable or mean to just say, "I'm sorry, but we're separated and moving towards divorce, and I'm just not going to discuss who I spend my time with, or where or how often, with you"?[/quote]

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