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[quote=Anonymous]Ds age 13 has anxiety and severe ADHD. It’s always been this way, since he was a toddler. I have anxiety too and life with him has increased my anxiety terribly. I need to be his mother and I also need to create boundaries for myself. He doesn’t have a lot of friends. He doesn’t see too many kids outside of school. So, he wants to hang around with me a lot. It would be fine, except his anxiety and, frankly, self centeredness and complete lack of empathy make my days with him anxiety filled and frustrating.

For example, today I arranged for he and I to go on a horseback ride. We got to the barn and met up with the owner. He was miserable to her and kept telling me that he just wanted to go home. He said he wasn’t going to ride the horse and he moped the whole time we were tacking up horses. He agreed to do this activity when I suggested it.

We wound up going on the ride and having fun. But, all of the drama and upset beforehand really marred the day.  In the afternoon, he wanted to go fishing. We were having fun until a fish accidentally died. We were doing catch and release. It’s sad, but his behavior was out of proportion. He screamed and yelled and threatened not to go to school tomorrow.

Every day is like this. It is so draining and hard. I try to plan nice things and be positive. But, his anxiety and behavior always ruins it. I have so much empathy for him. My whole life for the past 14 years has been about catering to him and his anxieties, fears and disregulation. I’m trying to figure out a way to parent him while still protecting my own peace. Right now, I’m failing at that. I am so unhappy and frustrated [/quote]

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