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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ds is a freshman and he is doing well in school, has friends, activities. But his girlfriend (since junior year, she is great so that’s not an issue) is two hours away and he visits her every other weekend. He also has spent down nearly all his savings. He has a separate card for food beyond dining hall, things he needs for school. He is frugal with that but not at all with his own account. He has a job during most of high school and was also terrible about saving but bc he worked, he replenished the account. How concerned would you be about all of this? We told him spacing out visits would be good, focusing on job search, only bc he is spending so much. I just really want him to figure out good balance and not focus just on his girlfriend and also learn to budget better but it’s not sinking in. At the same time i don’t want to create a wedge by taking the car away or hammering the point endlessly.[/quote]

This is a tricky one, OP.

Sure, it's his money, but not really. Who is footing the bill for his schooling?

My concern would be less about the money and more about going to visit the GF at another school that often. Whether he realizes it or not, it's a crutch that keeps him from fully investing in his own school and life there. But that's one of those things that parents can mention - once - but is really his decision.[/quote]

His schooling is very cheap bc he got a great merit scholarship, but we do pay for a nicer dorm and general expenses. And yes, the aspect you mention is absolutely a big concern! I think from his perspective his girlfriend IS a big part of his life, he’s still doing things on campus so he sees it as no big deal but it does make a difference. We talked to him about it today and I could tell he was not happy. He was very quiet, saying he “gets it”…but I don’t think he does. He also is the one who called today to tell us he was going to see his girlfriend so not sure what he expected from me as he knows I hate that he drives so much. I’m concerned that he is not able to think clearly about work, clubs and such bc he thinks about his girlfriend first. [/quote]

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