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[quote=Anonymous]*cracks knuckles*

My boyfriend/partner/whatever you want to call us and I met right after our marriages ended. My exH had a long term affair. I had found out 2 years prior, but my kids were too young to leave at that point so we lived as roommates while I did weekly therapy and we got our ducks in a row to split.

My boyfriend's exW had a 4 year long identity crisis and ultimately came out as a lesbian. They were nesting (keeping kids in the house while they rotated in and out) for two years at that time and worked hard in individual therapy.

After two long unwinding processes, our ex spouses moved out on the same day coincidentally. We met shortly after in a volunteer group we had both joined to put some good back into the world with our new kid free time. There were a lot of alignments in our experiences- the idea that we didn't truly know our partners and were trying hard seeking resources and therapies to make something work that we didn't have a full understanding of. We were able to support each other through getting used to missing our kids (ugh the most unnatural feeling in the world). Eventually feelings grew and we were a great communicative team laughing and being a safe space for things like a holding hands, a first kiss (and eventually more) after 15 year marriages. It has been a really dorky, authentic, safe, loving journey.

We were both previously with opposites, but we are the same. My favorite is that he is just as research oriented as I am and has a high IQ and EQ. There's no pressure to blend families, have a "do over" or any other non sense. We're both parents to our own kids half the time and a couple the other half of the time. Kids come first, always and we've created something special in the blank spaces. It works for us and I'm so thankful.

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