Reply to Constant influx of friends?

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "Constant influx of friends?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would say "no more than three times a week." And I would suck it up, to be honest.

If they're at your house, I'd just pop my head in the room they're hanging in and say "Does everyone's parents know they're here? Great, good to see you all." And when they're leaving "Bye guys, text your parents where you're going!" [/quote]

DP: I don't believe in sucking it up AT ALL.  This is your home, you've been welcoming, but now it's become too many assumptions and you need to be an adult and talk to your DD about how great it is that your friends like your home and trust it, and enjoy it, AND it's become too many and too often so some parameters have to be put in place.  Sure, PP above's suggestions to just pop your head in and make sure parents know where they are makes sense, but that doesn't at all solve your "everyone assumes endless food and drinks" problem nor does it address you giving so many rides home.

Tell your DD to keep it down to 2 weekdays a week (basically Mon - Thurs, 2 days in there) and if you're cool with it going on more or later Friday, Friday can be a special day but still everyone is on their own for food and drinks.  Maybe have basics on the snacks (if you've got lots of pantry space load up on some stuff at Costco) but don't have it all be open access.  Have a certain amount each week available and after that the kids are on their own. And stand by it - if they beg or complain and you give more, you've messed up the boundaries that yo u were right to set.

"Sucking up" to teenagers is a fatal strategy.  They don't learn to be more thoughtful or responsible and they definitely don't learn how to set boundaries so good things can stay good, instead of getting unmanageable or being taken advantage of.  And OP if you have trouble having direct, warm but firm convos with your teens... that is something you may want to get some help on. Because it's a vital skill.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics