Reply to Spouse’s ex moved back, rejoined friend circle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How would you handle this situation?

Your spouse’s ex has moved back in town and is getting invited by mutual friends to group activities where your spouse will also be, sometimes without you.  They were both part of a tight group of friends before you entered the picture. Since then, ex had fallen off the face of the earth.

They broke up over a decade ago because of the out-of-state move and never planning on moving back.  Is it reasonable to ask spouse not to go out with the friend group when I’m not there?     [b]Relevant details: married 10+ years with kids and currently going through a rough patch. [/b]

[/quote]

Not to ask the obvious but how much is he hanging out with tight knit friend group without you if you have young kids?  Also, what positive steps are you both taking to work on the rough patch?  Focusing on him seeing an ex girlfriend that he dated at least 13 years ago in a friend group that I’m assuming he doesn’t see that often and only sometimes without you …that seems like putting your energy on the wrong things.    Either you are both working in the marriage or you both aren’t.  Either you are both making time for each other or you both aren’t.  Either you are both pulling your weight with the kids and the household or you both aren’t.  Either you are both improving your communication with each other are you both aren’t.  You focusing on the ex rejoining the friend group is either a distraction from what you should be focused on or a proxy for the real issue. [/quote]

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