Reply to Grace Before Dinner -- Appropriate?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I know that they always say grace at their house, but we haven't hosted Christmas or Thanksgiving at our house for a couple of years, so I just don't remember what they did previously.  At Thanksgiving, when we were all together, as we were sitting down my niece immediately said "I've prepared a poem I'd like to read before dinner."  Looking back on it, I think it was my brother-in-law's way of preempting grace, but I could be reading into it.  I might not have minded it had I been given some advanced warning or had he read a poem or even something biblical, but the free flowing God-praising, "Holy Spirit" hit a nerve.  I just kept thinking "it's our house."  And I don't think he meant to offend, I really don't, but I don't want it to happen again (they are moving close to us so there will be lots of holidays in the future).[/quote]

OP I can definitely understand why this is annoying to you; however, in my opinion, this is NOT something worth mentioning to your inlaws or making an issue.  Just drop it.  It's your house, but saying grace takes what, 30 seconds?  Go to your mental happy place for that time.  Maybe I am too relaxed, or too much in the "Ignore your inlaws' quirks!" school, but I can't see you taking a stand on this without offending your inlaws.  Maybe if your DH pre-empts them and says grace himself, but no, I don't think his father is expecting his son to tell him to ask permission to say grace just because it's "his house."  That just sounds petty and crazy.  There are bunch of pushy, over-religious people in my family, and I can see an incident like this being remembered FOREVER as proof that you, the daughter-in-law, are a cold heathen bitch.  Don't go there, sister.  I'm on your side, but just don't go there.  There are too many Christmases in front of you, and old people live forever now.[/quote]

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