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[quote=Anonymous]I never looked at it in terms of w percentage.  It was more a question of whether it was something we could afford and whether it was reasonable (with the reasonableness greatly influenced by the child’s level of commitment).

So, for example, when my preschooler begged for ballet classes but I thought she mainly wanted to wear a tutu, twirl around, and have people applaud, I explained what a ballet class actually involved, made sure she understood she would be committing to several weeks, and then signed her up for the shortest session the Rec department offered so she could try it out, and it turned out that was more than enough for her.  On the other hand when that same child as a middle school student spent hours a day playing her rented cello for fun, buying her a cello, signing her up for private lessons, and allowing her to join a youth orchestra seemed reasonable, even though it cost considerably more than that ballet class.  However, when she started to lose her enthusiasm and stopped keeping up with the practice for the youth orchestra, I told her I wouldn’t support her signing up again for the following year.  I always told her that the more she was willing to do for an activity, the more I was willing to do. I just wasn’t interested in paying for an activity and spending the time and  effort required on my part if she didn’t enjoy the activity enough to do her part.

Fortunately, we were able to afford the activities my kids were interested in, at least at the levels they were interested in.  If they had been extremely passionate about something at the edge of what we comfortably could have afforded, we would have probably tried to see what we could manage, but we wouldn’t have made the other kids sacrifice their interests, much less sacrificed investing in college funds, retirement funds, etc.  While a mortgage (or some kind of housing expense) is a necessity, as childcare may be as well, EXTRAcurricular activities are extras that can be indulged in if it works for the family.[/quote]

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