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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
1. You can't change who he is.

2. You can control who comes into your house and when.

3. So you tell him: "Going forward, we cannot welcome you like we've done in the past. This year you cannot come at all. Next year, we'll re-evaluate."

4. If he asks why, you say: "You've been treating our home like a free vacation and made lots of demands, which are very burdensome for us. We are very stressed right now with work and health issues and cannot deal with someone who takes all the times and doesn't even try to support us."

5. Point is: this is a person who cannot understand subtlety. Someone needs to be crystal clear with him. [/quote]

Op here. I love this energy.

Let me give you an example of what kind of person he is.  Our kids were 8 at the time. They had a long day with their grandfather who pretty much ignores them and expects them to be seen and not heard. To reward their good behavior, my husband suggested an ice cream treat.  The only ice cream store nearby was incredibly expensive. We told the kids to get only a single scoop (also it was relatively close to dinner, ruined appetites, sugar, etc). They were really disappointed but ordered their single scoop. As we were digging out our credit card, FIL bellied up to the counter and ordered the super sundae which was an obscene price.  To our shock he pointed to me and said, I’m with them and waddled away. He sat there and ate the entire sundae by himself in front of my kids. Never offered anyone a bite. And yes, we ended up paying for him too. [/quote]

That's disgusting behavior. I would have cut him off, told the server no I'm not paying for him. [/quote]

Op here. Yes you are totally correct. But I was in such a state of shock I just stood there frozen. My husband was next to me open mouthed and frozen. The attendant even looked at us with shock. She even said I thought he would pay. But I couldn’t just not pay. And my husband just stupidly handed her pie card. Now, knowing his tricks I would say no YOU will pay. And I would have told the ice cream place that he is paying for his own food. [/quote]

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