Reply to Am I unreasonable for setting boundaries with my SIL?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Am I unreasonable for setting boundaries with my SIL?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]For the 12 years I’ve been married to my husband, his sister and BIL have stayed at our house whenever they’re in town. I’ve always tried my best to make them feel welcome, despite the fact that she and I have never really gotten along. I go out of my way to ensure they’re comfortable—nice food, good accommodations, engaging in conversation, planning activities, etc. And when I say “I,” I mean it’s me who does all the planning and preparation, as my husband works long hours. This has been our arrangement since I work part-time, so I’m okay with it.

The last time they visited, it was during a particularly wet and muddy season. I calmly and politely mentioned that I had laid down a utility rug with a boot tray at the entrance and kindly asked that everyone use it when entering the house. For some reason, this really set off my SIL. She’s since told my children and my husband that I made her feel like a burden in our house. This was months ago, but she’s brought it up multiple times since, and now she refuses to speak to me at all.

My husband is on my side and has told her to get over it, but the whole thing feels like a “her vs. me” power struggle. I’ve tried apologizing, even though I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, but it hasn’t helped.
At this point, I’m considering stepping back and letting her have her space. If she truly feels like a burden when staying with us, then maybe she shouldn’t stay here anymore. I’ve put in the time and energy to make her comfortable, and nothing seems to change. For my own mental health, I’m thinking about respecting her feelings and no longer hosting her.

Am I being unreasonable to stop trying to accommodate her, especially when I’ve already done everything I can? I’m also trying to gauge whether I should bring this up with my husband and, if so, how to set this boundary without it seeming petty. Any advice on how to approach that conversation?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics