Reply to The good friend who cannot keep a secret

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[quote=Anonymous]My read on people like this is that they use information as currency but are totally un-self-aware about it. It's pretty much the exact same impulse as someone who dishes dirt to get people to like them or to elevate themselves above the person they are gossiping about, but it's done with a level of obliviousness that makes it seem like it's innocent.

Your friend saying "I don't know why I did that" is really telling to me, because it means she's not thinking about it at all, including not thinking about how her sharing could impact the person she's talking about, or whether that person would be comfortable with her sharing their private info. When you think about it, this is a very narcissistic impulse, because rather than exercising a bit of empathy or consideration for this friend she theoretically cares for, she is only thinking in the moment that it would be satisfying in some way to share that information.

But then when you call her on it, she can protect herself by saying it was an accident, she didn't mean anything by it, etc. But the core problem is lack of consideration and refusing to think about how her actions impact other people. Even in situations where the person has specifically told her "this is private, please don't tell anyone"! It's a very self-centered, inconsiderate way to go through life.[/quote]

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