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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]   Anyone have a friend who seems to be genuinely a kindhearted person and yet she has poor boundaries about sharing private info even after you make it clear it is private? I didn't share much with her until we had been friends for several years. She shares plenty of private potentially embarrassing information with me that I would not think to share because I don't want to hurt her or violate the privacy of her family. I figured maybe I need to spell it out and differentiate what is private, but even that wasn't enough. I even gently told her about instances things came back to me that I only shared with her. She said something like "I don't know why I shared that." So, I finally learned that the boundaries aren't there, so I censor myself and try to stick to nonprivate topics which can be exhausting when you are asked a question and have to revise your answer before speaking.

This is someone I have never gossiped with or tried to get private info about someone else from and most of the people I have known in the past who spread private information are people with a schadenfreude addiction. Have you ever met a good person who just has loose lips? Were you surprised because it seemed so out of character? [/quote]

I have dropped "friends" when I realized they were like this. She is not your friend. A friend would [i]feel[/i] the betrayal and stop herself.

On the other hand I have one friend that I've maintained a friendship with for almost 20 years, who gossiped about me. I know because she repeated in conversation something another mom had said about me and I recognized it. It took me YEARS to move on. I'm not sure why I remained friends with her but we were not as close for a long time after that. Now I feel close to her again. Weird.[/quote]

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