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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a SAHM and have a DD10 who makes frequent requests throughout the day.  Example from the other day:

4pm - I had put away her crochet book & supplies about a year ago.  She says “Mom, I want my crochet stuff to make doll clothes.  You put them away, find them for me *today*”

4:45pm - While I’m helping DS with his homework, “Mom, I don’t like the plastic case my art markers come in, the lid keeps coming open.  Find me a zippered bag on Amazon.”

5:15pm - “Mom, can you print out the word list for Wordly Wise (now)?”  We had to leave for her sports practice in 30 minutes & I was in a rush plating dinner.

I have different reasons why the above bugs me.  The crochet stuff she could’ve asked me where I put them so she could get them herself.  She OFTEN asks me to get something for her when she should do it herself.  I’ve been telling her nicely “Do it Yourself” for YEARS.  The markers were pretty expensive, and it bugs me that she is now asking me for a new case instead of making do with the case they came in.  For both the markers & especially the word list, I was clearly busy with something, and she was going to get the word list from her teacher the next day, but she didn’t want to wait.

My general impression is she is low on EQ (putting herself in my shoes) and situational awareness, i.e., she doesn’t stop to think about the situation (mom is busy & rushing, I don’t need the word list & can’t use it right now anyway).  She also lacks self-control/patience and wants things NOW.

I have talked with her about her requests.  As to the other day, I told her afterward, we barely got everything we needed done (homework, dinner) before sports practice, so when could I have done the things you asked for?  I’ve also told her that she should really think whether she should make her requests, as I’m busy enough as it is.  I’ve also told her she should save her requests for when we’re more relaxed, like dinner time and not when I’m in the middle of something.  I’ve made these suggestions to her in the past, and they haven’t made a difference.  I get the sense that she’s just not mindful enough to stop and assess, and is more reactive and says things as soon as she thinks them.  I find her exhausting, this is just one of various ways she wears me out.  Does anyone have practical suggestions for how I can deal with this? [/quote]

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