Reply to How do you deal with eye rolling and complaining?

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[quote=Anonymous]Here’s an example from today:  I was making my kids lunch and asked her do you want X or Y?  She rolled her eyes, sighed and said impatiently, “I always want Y.”  No “please” or “thank you.”  I looked at her and raised my eyebrows and she squeezed out a “pleeeease” with another eye roll.

My feeling is that she’s being rude and the consequence is that I won’t make her lunch and she can have school lunch (which she hates and probably won’t eat).  I was calm and just said “I don’t like your tone, so I’m not making your lunch today.  We can try again tomorrow.”

My partner says that I can’t shut down all of my kid’s negative feelings.  If she’s annoyed about something, she should be able to express it and that discord over such small things is normal.  My kid was tired and should be allowed to be grumpy with me.  She says refusing to make her lunch was an overreaction.  Again, I was calm and polite and still offered her empathy (e.g.  “I know you’re having a rough morning.”)

She’s 9.  No time in the morning for her to make her own lunch, so please don’t suggest that—it would have made her late for school.  Also, I generally don’t mind making her lunch—it’s an easy task that helps our mornings go smoothly.

Thoughts? [/quote]

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