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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We are an international family with parents who live abroad, and most of our friends have similarly long-distance parents.

That much grandparent-grandchild togetherness is so alien to me. Growing up, my grandparents lived far away too - I lived the life my kids are living now, with just the nuclear family.

I also have a teen who is focused on school and needs downtime. There is absolutely no way I would ever force my kid to spend more time with her grandparents if she doesn't want to. My primary duty is to her. High school is stressful, college admissions are stressful. I protect her time and sanity.

You can be a good daughter and look after your parents' health and finances, while still preserving your children's well-being. The grandparents are not owed that much time with their grandkids.
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Me again. I watched my parents take care of their parents. My father sent money to his home country to pay for a nursing home for his mother. He visited when he could. My mother contributed to the costs of her mother's little studio and daily helper, and visited her in the hospital. My daughter sees me managing my father's hospital paperwork and she greets him when I Facetime him every day. My young adult son is studying abroad in my parents' country and visited him in the hospital, and helped out with groceries, suitcases and such.

This is what real caring looks like, and this is how you model caregiving behavior for your children. But impinging on a busy teen's time because Grandma needs attention, is a frivolous ask and not be to be encouraged.
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To take care of elderly is the responsibility primarily of the next generation - ie the offsprings.  At least in my culture.

However, the people posting here are the product of this culture. The parents are getting the same care that they gave to their children.[/quote]

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