Reply to Any wives ignore the mistress?

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Reply to "Any wives ignore the mistress?"

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[quote=Anonymous]As long as he is getting his cake and eating it too, I don't see the incentive to stop.

An affair is by nature a triangle, and can only happen when there is secrecy, deception, and the "stabilizing" factor of a marriage. Once the marriage partner of say the husband, exposes the affair, and separates/refuses to be a part of it, it is no longer an affair for the husband (may still be an affair if his partner is married but that's her triangle). The affair has to evolve. Now the dude is just in a relationship. Nothing stays static, and the "other woman" over time may get more demanding, may turn into more of a "girlfriend" than mistress, and then the dude is back to have a woman he has has to meet needs of etc.

There is a book "Surprised by Love" written by a pseudo-celeb marriage counselor guru and his wife and mother of his three kids (who was like a former miss america runner up or something) that tells the story of how he cheated and had a long time affair and they divorced and it was only then he snapped out of the fog. They eventually reconciled and remarried.

Like I said super cheesy but some great insight into affairs - given that he is a PhD in clincal psych who does marriage counseling for a living and a guy who had an affair he had some intelligent, insightful things to say about affairs in general.

His affair partner was not married (she was actually an exotic dancer/stripper/escort, super classy!) so once his wife filed for divorce and moved out, he then had a real relationship on his hands. Predictably things fell apart for him as he tried to "save"this woman, especially since the other woman turned out to be crazy and demanding.

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