Reply to Need outside perspective on a fight with DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like your DH might have been trying to empathize with you, “deeply sympathizes with the absolute tragedy of women's utter confusion with these toxic messages that they are bombarded with.” when you said, “I’m good,” that’s dismissive. I would be upset if DH brushed me off like that because he could say, “that’s interesting, but that’s not my experience.” Also I’d argue that women DO get  toxic messages: that’s they the Barbie speech went viral.

HOWEVER he started off with a judgement, so I can see why you might be dismissive because I would not like that comment either.

It sounds like you don’t have a matched communication style, or your DH is a total misogynist. Only you know. [/quote]

I've accused him of being a misogynist before and that really blew him up.  I don't think he is, but he says things that can really come off that way.  He generally thinks 99 percent of women are deeply confused and broken and doesn't really understand their hypocrisy, or "gooey-ness" as he calls it. He's judgmental about things like spending any time or effort on make-up and clothes.

We've had past communication issues.  It's gotten 95% better. He used to be a "win at all costs" arguer, and I used to just shut down when he'd say something purposely scathing or hurtful. He holds back now, and I've learned to stand my ground and express my boundaries better. But still not perfect.[/quote]

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