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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Consider speaking to a financial expert. It's possible he should be putting all his money into retirement (since he will retire sooner), you use your money to pay off his loans and then when he kicks the bucket, you will be entitled to his Social Security - if it exists by then since DOGE uploaded all your data to an insecure server (but I digress). [/quote]

No, this is terrible advice. OP should not stop contributing her 401k.  He'll probably leave most of "his" money to his kids when he dies, regardless of any empty promises made now, so she's got to prepare for her own future.  She should cover her equitable share of their expenses as a couple (so if they make the same, 50%), and with the remaining, max out her 401k and aggressively pay down her loan.  He's been divorced once, so the odds are not in their favor.  Don't ignore reality. [/quote]

A few things here...

Nobody is perfect. If anything, I've probably been less financially responsible than he has, because I was young and dumb. He is an immigrant who had to work himself his way up and has had setbacks. Medical emergencies are not being financially irresponsible. Divorce, his first marriage, maybe. But I love his kids. We're not DCUM perfect, but we're normal people with normal people problems. Together we make just under $300K. We can do this. I think we've got a good plan with throwing money at debt, throwing money at high yield savings, living within our means the rest of the way, but I still feel "selfish" for putting so much money into my own retirement when the two of us need the money in our lives now. I chose to take out a student loan to go to an elite university. He didn't choose to get injured with crappy insurance. I paid off a lot of my loan during the pandemic, got ahead of schedule, and now have a plan to pay it off in 10 years rather than 25. I could pay it in 7, but then we wouldn't be able to throw enough into our HYSA and buy a house, which we feel is more important. But yeah maxing out my 401K is my gift to my future self, but it does feel kind of selfish. [/quote]

Research shows that women live longer on average but often have smaller retirement savings. Prioritizing your student loan payments and retirement savings is the right move. You and your husband can just retire together and enjoy a few years before he's too old to do anything with you.  [/quote]

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