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[quote=Anonymous]Please suspend snarky comments about age gap relationships and "nurses with purses" etc. I want to consider honest takes about financial fairness about retirement savings when one partner will be around considerably longer than the other, most likely.

Both of us make roughly the same amount of money, but he has more expenses than I do because he has kids and I don't have or want kids. I'm still chipping away at my student loans and have a plan to pay them off in 10-12 years, he has kids plus some medical expenses he's still paying off, and that leaves a couple grand a month to put in a HYSA for near-future home expenses in 3-5 years. But here's the thing... I max out my 401K, he puts in the minimum to get the company match and that's it. But I feel bad about the "his money is our money, my money is my money" dynamic. His target retirement date is 15 years before mine, so essentially, I am his retirement plan (and that's OK - I am happy to be the breadwinner at some point if I end up out-earning him in a few years). But in the late 2050s, I will have this huge wad of cash that I presumably will get to enjoy a lot longer than he will. Is that fair? Putting aside the likelihood based on the millennial generation's bad luck that we have a market crash in 2055 and all my retirement savings will be worth didlly squat, but I digress.

The TLDR of it, we are a GenX/millennial couple with middle-upper-middle incomes that look good on paper but are only just now getting our financial footing. I took a while to get my career going in stride, and he had some financial setbacks with kids and medical expenses but together we're on the path to a decent standard of living. But retirement is the ethical question here.[/quote]

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