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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I never fully trusted any man and spurned all marriage discussions and proposals that came my way. Had a few serious relationships a few with cohabitation but compared to peers my relationships were relatively short lived. I was relieved when menopause removed nearly all my libido and ended all of my tolerance for male . . . stuff.

I know some people get beyond it differently but for me never having a dad I could trust or respect - because he beat the shit out of me among other things and enjoyed tormenting his own kids and his wife - left me essentially incapable to believe a guy could be good for me.

It took me hella long to figure that out; for years I just kept telling myself I hadn’t found the right guy or that I needed to do this or that for things to be right etc. but in the last decade or so I have come to see quite clearly that my likelihood for relationship or family building success was very low from conception onward. I was actually beaten in the womb when my ‘father’ would come home drunk and frustrated with the obligations of marriage and fatherhood and try to do a DIY termination on my mother’s pregnancy.

One of my clearest life memories is of the first time, sitting in my car in a rare desert rainstorm waiting to go in to get takeout Mexican food, that I heard the song Daughters by John Mayer. I wept like a child.

I realize now that along the way I hurt some nice boys and men, along with dumping some who really deserved that.

Yeah, men - don’t have kids if you can’t love and protect them properly and control your anger while raising them. Dysfunctional parenting leaves a lifelong legacy of pain. Yes children are resilient but that means they survive, it doesn’t mean they thrive.[/quote]

That’s not being spanked for punishment. Your dad was straight up abusive for no reason. I’m so sorry![/quote]

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