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[quote=Anonymous]My DD was looking forward to playing on her HS volleyball team this year. Even though it would be hard to be identified due to the large number of players who participated in the tryouts, I will not name the school (even though it might be obvious to some). My DD knew that the Varsity was a long shot, but she was very optimistic about the JV team. She didn't make the team.

We've been doing club and she is pretty resilient to rejection. We talk about how clubs give preference to their returners, especially when the skill level is comparable. We talk about how tall girls may make a team, despite lower skill level. She knows that she needs good skills to compensate for her height. She went through tryouts and she understands why she gets cut by certain clubs and why she can still play for her club. Her entire understanding of tryouts collapsed during the HS volleyball tryouts. A few taller girls made the team despite lack of skills. Pretty much expected, even though club players started being cut. Eventually she got cut herself - a decision she was relatively comfortable with. Until she learned that a girl who got cut earlier in the tryouts made the team. I don't want to make this post about the other girl, but I need to offer some context: she is shorter and her skill level is much lower than the skills of any of the girls who got cut in the last day of tryouts.

I cannot recognize my DD anymore. She cannot sleep, she wakes up tired, and she hates school. That almost never happened unless she had some bad teachers. She avoids everyone on the JV team because she is embarrassed. When she has to talk to them she hides her feelings, but everyone tries to console her. Everyone is surprised about her not making the team taking into account that the other girl made it. She hears how that one girl shanks 90% of the balls coming her way during practice and scrimmages. She doesn't understand why she didn't get the chance that the other girl got. She doesn't understand how somebody can get a team jersey despite being officially cut. Initially I thought that she made up the story about the other girl, but I confirmed with other parents (who are equally puzzled).

As a parent, I don't know what to say to her. There is no rational conversation that we could have. My DD is taller and undeniable more skillful (she was in the last wave that got cut). Questioning the coach or talking to the athletics director / principal don't seem to be good options because of potential retribution next year. What can you suggest?[/quote]

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