Reply to How to inform family that their dear departed relative disinherited you?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is it you hope to gain by choosing that action? Do you want them to press your sib to share?
[/quote]

Not OP, but I do think there can be some relief in letting those you love know why you act uncomfortable in response to their support. I would not do it in a spiteful way, but I would want my loved ones to know I appreciate their thoughts and kindness, but this is what happened and I am processing it all.

My own mother has an outside mask and a behind closed doors side she shows to me that is abusive and she would definitely play favorites and try to create drama in her aftermath. When she passes, I plan to be polite to anyone who says "I am sorry for your loss" and if they go on and on about how amazing she is I will say "I am so glad you had that experience with her." However, if anyone tries to do the whole "I know how painful it was to lose a loving mother. You must be devastated, I may actually say something like "I saw a different side of her than you did and many painful interactions that I always blamed myself for, yet I did keep showing up for her and doing my best. Now I am processing being disinherited. I hope you cherish your precious memories, but please understand my experience was different."[/quote]

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