Reply to Travel w/ Twins

Forum Index » Infants, Toddlers, & Preschoolers

Reply to "Travel w/ Twins"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have you done any overnight trips with the babies yet? If so, how did they go?

If not - which is the first trip? If it's the wedding, then I would definitely plan to go to the wedding, all four of you, and the only thing I would insist upon at this stage is that planning for the other trips be with an eye to having the option to cancel. Refundable tickets, etc. Keeping family expectations in check. Then see how the first trip goes and go from there.

If the trip that's not for any specific reason is first, I think its really really reasonable to push back and suggest cancelling that trip or postponing until after Christmas once you both know how travel goes for you and the babies. You don't want to burn all four of you out on a very optional trip in advance of two trips that are more special opportunities (the weddings). You're a parent, too, and if you think it's too much for both you and the babies, and you also don't want to be apart from the babies, that's totally reasonable.

Big note: Are you an equal partner in childcare? Are you both back at work? Does she regularly take care of both babies solo? Do you regularly take care of both babies solo? If the answer to all of those questions is yes, great, but if not... you've got less of a leg to stand on (particularly if she regularly cares for the babies solo and you don't). [/quote]

Thanks for this very thoughtful reply. This would be the first flight with the babies and they've only recently started sleeping through the night. The first trip would be the non-specific trip, but when I raised the issue that this is really optional she got upset because she's been away from her family longer than she usually is.[/quote]

PP here.

Okay, progress. Understanding her motivations is important. I'd go into question mode. "What happens if this trip is really, really hard and we don't feel up to three more trips in the next four months? Which of the other three would we cut? Is there any way for your family to come to us?"

How much longer is it until her family wedding? If she's gone 8 months without seeing them, I think she can make it two more. I agree with you that this trip is a risk not worth taking.

I would also be willing, if I were you, to pay for her to fly solo even if it was a super short trip so she could get back to the babies quickly. So if she was planning a week, and she doesn't want to travel without the babies, even if it's a flight, could she just go for 24-48 hours? Might that scratch the itch to see family without taking her from the babies for too long? It might sound silly to pay a lot for a tiny trip, but it might be your best option.

I also notice that you didn't answer my later questions - about whether you're an equal partner in childcare or not. Even completely separately from these trips, I think it's really important for you to be watching the babies solo for short periods of time. Is that happening? [/quote]

PP just to add context to my thought process here - I didn't have twins, but I did have two 18 months apart, and it was during the pandemic so we didn't travel when the first was tiny, so the first time we were traveling was with both of them at like 4 months/22 months old. That first trip with the two of them was the worst trip of my life. It was much, much harder than I anticipated, and we ended up deciding to just stay close to home until they got a smidge older. But that being said - I know plenty of people who travel with babies (even twins) and it's NBD. It's both baby personality dependent AND parent personality dependent, and it's REALLY hard to predict.[/quote]

OP here. Thanks for this. I was watching them by myself for the latter half of yesterday and need to watch them all day during the workday today, so don't have much time to thoroughly respond today. Even the questions you and others have posed have helped refine my thinking though.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics