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Family Relationships
Reply to "Post-divorce relationships and meeting/getting to know the family"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I get it!! I'm not in the same situation as you but I get it. I feel this way as an adult child of divorce who watched my parents remarry and split again, and have had a sibling divorce. I've been burned by it. You, too, have been burned by it. That is a normal and understandable reaction. You fully and completely embraced your former sister in law as 100% family, and why wouldn't you? But now she's not family. That IS an unsettling feeling. [b]I am nice to the people in my parents and siblings' lives. I wish the relationships well. I'll never be invested in their relationships again. Those people are not my family. [/b]I don't like to pretend. Again, I am nice, polite, warm. But I don't pretend. So and so is not aunt to my kids and I had a similar jarring recoil feeling when a sibling's girlfriend self-described themselves to me as Aunt Larla in total seriousness. Nope. I'm in the one who hands out honorary aunt titles, thanks. [/quote] Just curious. When/if your siblings marry and have/had kids, do you expect the same treatment from your sisters/brothers-in-law? In other words, YOU are not their immediate family and if a divorce or breakup were to occur, they might never see you again. So when your nieces and nephews call you aunt, do their parents correct them? Or does it only go one way with you?[/quote] My sibling’s current new girlfriend’s kids from her prior marriage are not my nieces, correct My sibling’s children born into his (first) marriage are my nieces and will always be related to me even though their mom is divorced from my sibling. Does that help or is this still really hard to follow? If you hadn’t had an extended family with multiple divorces and a revolving door of relationships, it may be hard to intellectually understand why I think my dad’s 4th girlfriend in the past 10 yrs is a nice lady but she’s not my kids’ nana. [/quote]
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