Reply to At what cost do you help your adult kids after getting them through college?

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[quote=Anonymous]1. How much does helping your 20-something kids affect your budget and retirement plans?  I'm not as interested in hearing from people who have $10m or more, but from people still working and saving for retirement.  Are you willing to keep working after 65 to be able to pay for grad school, weddings, down payments, etc?

[b]Working after 65 for any of this, no. I'd give what I feel like I could. You don't need to pay a full wedding, but maybe $10k (or offer it up as an either or wedding/honeymoon/down payment). [/b]

2. How do you resolve disagreements with your spouse about how much support to provide adult kids and at what cost?  What would you do if your spouse were spending down assets on adult kids without your blessing, which you didn't give because you legitimately believe you couldn't afford it? 
[b]
I'd suggest financial counselling. Can you [i]actually[/i] not afford it, or do you have hoarder mentality? An unbiased third party will give you better advice. [/b]

3. When your adult kid visits, do you cover 100% of the costs of their trip?  For example, do you pay for their airline ticket, groceries, meals out, etc?

[b]If your adult child is visiting YOU, why would you make them buy their own groceries? Yes I would pay, but they usually buy a dinner our or something. [/b]

4. When you vacation with your adult kids, do you also cover 100% of the costs?  Not just the housing, but for example, do you pay for their round of golf, ski lift ticket, or other activities?

[b]If we're going together, yes. If they are going golfing with their friends or skiing alone then no. Basically if it's "family" then yes, if its them solo, no. [/b]

5. An adult kid who has graduated and is employed visits and makes their own plans.  Is it reasonable for them to expect to be able to take your car while they visit?   And if there is a schedule conflict?

[b]If they are visiting and the car is available, sure. If there's a conflict I'd try to manage it, but push comes to shove the kids take an uber. [/b]

6. Would you help with graduate school, law school, medical school, or an MBA if it required you to keep working later than planned?  If you do it for one kid, do you need to do it for their younger siblings, too?

[b]Again, not interested in working past 65. So I wouldn't pay for this likely. It would be incredibly unfair to sink an extra $100k into one child and not pay for the others. [/b][/quote]

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