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[quote=Anonymous][quote]1. How much does helping your 20-something kids affect your budget and retirement plans?  I'm not as interested in hearing from people who have $10m or more, but from people still working and saving for retirement.  Are you willing to keep working after 65 to be able to pay for grad school, weddings, down payments, etc?[/quote]

It does not.  I am willing to work after 65 (and am still working at 65) for education.  I definitely would not work to pay for weddings.  I have always felt they are such a waste of money and I am not giving people my money to waste.  Down payments is a probably not, but I might be convincible.

[quote]2. How do you resolve disagreements with your spouse about how much support to provide adult kids and at what cost?  What would you do if your spouse were spending down assets on adult kids without your blessing, which you didn't give because you legitimately believe you couldn't afford it? [/quote]

We reach agreement.  Sometimes it takes coming back to the conversation a few times with days or weeks of time passing.  Usually it is me who is willing to give money, but I'm not unreasonable so my spouse always comes around.  As for spouse spending down assets that I didn't believe we could afford, I can truly not imagine a scenario where that happened.  Maybe I'm naive, but it is so far beyond what either of us has ever done that I cannot imagine it.

[quote]3. When your adult kid visits, do you cover 100% of the costs of their trip?  For example, do you pay for their airline ticket, groceries, meals out, etc?   [/quote]

Not always.  But sometimes within limits.  We're driving distance from our kids.  I might pay for gas, but I'm not reimbursing the easy pass and I'm not paying for their fast food on the way.  I'm also not paying for anything where we are not participating as a family.  I buy extra groceries and I get things I know they like, but if they want more groceries, I'm not handing over a credit card.  But if we go out to eat, golf, or whatever, then I am going to pay.

[quote]4. When you vacation with your adult kids, do you also cover 100% of the costs?  Not just the housing, but for example, do you pay for their round of golf, ski lift ticket, or other activities?  [/quote]

When we vacation, yes, I do cover the entire cost of the trip, with the exception of their purchases and maybe Starbucks type trips because we don't do those.  But we only vacation together every few years.  We do have a vacation home and when they visit, we treat it like they're visiting our house.

[quote]5. An adult kid who has graduated and is employed visits and makes their own plans.  Is it reasonable for them to expect to be able to take your car while they visit?   And if there is a schedule conflict? [/quote]

We are driving distance.  But, I would loan my kids my car if it wasn't inconvenient.

[quote]6. Would you help with graduate school, law school, medical school, or an MBA if it required you to keep working later than planned?  If you do it for one kid, do you need to do it for their younger siblings, too? [/quote]

Yes, if they could not afford it.  But, when I hit 70, I am done, so any requests have to come soon (and there is one, for which the money is in the bank already) and they will have to make do with whatever money I can save before that point.

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