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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "AITA? Mortgage still in my name "
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Context: We separated in April of 2023, had court in January of 2024, and the divorce became official in March of 2024. We’re in New England, not DC (I don’t think that matters here but just in case), I lived here a while back which is why I’m still on this page sometimes. No kids. Both late 30’s. He makes about 7 times what I make, and although we purchased our home 1 year after marriage/ commingling all bank accounts, I didn’t ask for any equity/ buyout whatsoever since it was a short marriage (4 years) and the down payment was probably all of his money (hard to say exactly since our accounts were combined but I made very little in comparison to him). It didnt feel right asking for $ from the condo since it was basically his purchase (there’s differing opinions on this, i know). Another reason I didn’t want to ask for anything from the condo is because it was a crappy divorce. He’s a bad alcoholic and made the process hell. Refused to get help, it ruined the marriage, I couldn’t take it anymore (withdrawal ER visits, crashed my car, DUI, several other incidents). He still lives there. Per our divorce agreement, he was to sell or refinance within 6 months, in order to get my name off the mortgage/ deed. About 3 months into that 6 month period, he asked if he could have more time. I said yes of course (with no real timeline). The reason he asked for more time was because he really wasn’t sure if he wanted to sell and move, or keep it. Refinancing would cause his interest rate to go from 2.9% to 6.8% which would be a HUGE amount. Fast forward 1.5 years to now. I want my name off this mortgage. It’s just one of those things that is on my mind, as it’s still tying me to him. [b]He has not taken the divorce well and there’s been several texts, emails etc that have been concerning / extremely sad / dramatic etc. I ignore them[/b]. But again this is just the last thing tying me to him, and it’s a big one (IMO). I emailed him to ask where he was at with regards to the condo. He isn’t ready to refinance and doesn’t want to sell. I kindly reminded him that the agreement said he was supposed to do this 1.5 years ago and there’s a chance I may look at purchasing early next year. I also told him that this shows up on my credit as well as it’s a HUGE debt. I am trying to be as nice as possible but he is not budging. He wants me to beg and grovel even though I’m not doing anything wrong. I asked the lawyer what to do and she said he’s essentially in contempt of court. I haven’t used that term with him yet. I feel like an AH because this is a really crappy position to put him in, but I feel like I’ve been patient enough. Thoughts? [/quote] I have been divorced for a year. I can't imagine ever sending a text to my ex wife that is am not doing well etc. this is a major sigh of weakness for a man one thing that defines a man is being able to move on and bounce back stronger. Instead some of these men cry to their ex. I don't get it. [/quote]
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