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[quote=Anonymous]That's not even gaslighting- that's just lying.

Gaslighting is when someone's manipulations are so good that you question yourself. But it doesn't sound like you are. You KNOW she beat you. But your wording makes it sound like it is still present tense. If so- you need to cut contact or little eyes will be watching and taking it all in.

1 Stop being a martyr and stop lying for her. Every time she talks about your bruising, calmly reply that getting hit 40 times with a spoon will do that, or that getting textbooks thrown at surgical sites will do that. PS if she is bringing this up to normal adults- they will know that this is a strange topic and that she is covering abuse. Why would any adult talk about ANY other human's bruising in normal conversation?

2 If you have not told your spouse, you must. You should also tell your kids when they are old enough. So that they can learn healthier boundaries.

3 Never leave her alone with them. It's only a mother of time and every time you leave them is an opportunity for her to lie to them about you at best, and abuse them at worst. By keeping this a secret, they will not know to share it with you when it happens.

4 I'd ask each of them "has grandma ever said anything to you that was confusing or strange" and see what they say.

5 You seem to value the concept of 'grandparent' more than the potential for further trauma. Seek therapy.[/quote]

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