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[quote=Anonymous]I’m a divorced (dating) middle  aged women, so I encounter a lot of middle aged fathers.  It’s a green flag when they have friends (makes them happier and less clingy).  I always ask about their friends - it makes good conversation.

Here’s what I notice.  The common theme is that ones that have local friends are willing to put themselves out there - to reach out and TRY (which my ex was not, although I begged him to).  They have friends from when their kids were little because they invited the other sideline dads for a bbq or a beer, even though they might get told no a few times or end up having a couple beers with guys that turn out not to be friend material.  They try out different sports leagues or find pickup games (my gym has an open basketball court - there are always middle aged guys shooting around).  They join meetups.  They bring their few friends together with their friends other friends.

Bottom line is it takes a lot more work when you’re not in college or at local bars in your 20s.  When I was married I suggested my ex find a basketball game and committed to giving him that weeknight out every week.  He said no. He is lonely.[/quote]

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