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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 18 year daughter spent high school in baggy jeans and huge sweatshirts/sweaters. She's a small person but no one could ever tell as she wears giant things.  She's headed to college and we recently went shopping and in the dressing room she tried on jeans that fit and decided to buy them.  [b]I think I made the mistake of saying "those look nice."[/b] She brought them home and has been screaming )literally screaming) at me ever since that I forced her into buying tiny clothing that she can't breathe in. first, I didn't force the purchase it all--it was her.  Second-they aren't tight pants--they're still the super loose style and they're nowhere near being formed to her shape but they're a few sizes smaller than she usually wears.

I think this is all probably normal but the  anxious mom in me (stress is high as she's leaving for college) is worried that maybe something happened to her and she is hiding herself as a result.  Or it's probably all normal. [/quote]

How is it a mistake to say "those look nice?"

OP, it sounds like you walk on eggshells around her. I would be more concerned about that than anything. There is definitely more going on here that you either don't know or haven't told us.[/quote]

Mom of a DD who struggled with anorexia - any comments of any form about clothes to someone who struggles with body dysmorphia or eating disorders can be a very complicated thing. . . It seems innocent to give a compliment, but unfortunately it's not.  It taps into a deep reservoir of conflicted feelings about having a body in general that you can't possibly anticipate.

Based on my experiences, I would guess that when mom complimented her daughter, it had some sway in her daughters decision to buy the pants (even though it was ultimately her daughter's decision) but that when she came home, her feelings about herself in relation to those pants got intense, and that mom's "influence" on the decision was an easy target for blame in the decision.  It's not a rational thing.[/quote]

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