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[quote=Anonymous]You learn that there are some people you cannot vent to. I laughed at the doctor in your family chiming in. While yes, a big move can se off decline she's completely neglecting all the research on caregiver burnout and what this could do to you. Thew doctors in my family love to tell others how it needs to be done, but when the sh&t hits the fan they were utterly useless to do anything other than try to be backseat drivers. My friend's brother, yet another doctah, was the same way. He pontificated about what everyone should be doing, but refused to do anything himself.

We have a lot of friends from traditional Asian families (Vietnamese, Korean and Chinese) due to DH's line of work. The parents along the way did live with each of them at some point but they contributed to the household making meals/babysitting. Once they were no longer willing even when able in 2 cases they had their children buy them homes, which they then refused to live in and moved back to their home country instead. Another family put the mom in Memory Care because it was dangerous to have her at the home. No shame there. In yet another case, the house was chaotic, the wife was miserable having the MIL live with them and the teen daughter did a suicide attempt. That is when they decided it did not work.

Again, for your own sanity, don't turn to people who don't get it and/or have rigid and judgmental ideas. You want to make sure your parent is safe, well cared for and visited, but you don't set yourself on fire to keep them warm. Your physical and mental health matters.[/quote]

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