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[quote=Anonymous]I am really sorry and I've BTDT and on the other side with a young adult son who has turned things completely around.  I agree with the others who suggested wilderness.  But, you will likely have to have the money to pay for it and it's expensive.  and it takes time to get it set up, though not too much.  If you are worried about transporting him there, services exist.

In the meantime, it is important to take care of yourself and your family.  In particular, you need to keep everyone safe. IME, doctors and other professionals will tell you to lock up knives, weapons, medications and whatever else they can think of that could be used as a weapon.  And that's a good idea.  But it isn't an answer because as my child showed me, everything is a weapon and you cannot protect yourself from someone who wants to harm you and you can't protect someone who wants to harm themselves.

Lock up all of your valuables and your car keys.  Get alcohol out of the house because you can't keep a Houdini out of the liquor cabinet even if it is locked.  If you have to, sleep with your valuables and car keys under your pillow.  And if you have to do that, maybe sleep with your door locked and a chair under the doorknob.

Hard as this thought is, do what you can to get your child treatment.  But, be careful about sacrificing your family to avoid your child getting into the juvenile justice system.  Sometimes the system can fix a child and sometimes all it does is protect the family. And sometimes it's all you have to keep your family safe.

We tried everything and some things, like intensive residential treatment in an outdoor program (not wilderness, but wilderness lite), were really good in the moment.  We also had great school services.  It all helped - sometimes for a minute and sometimes in ways we didn't see for years to come (like the benefit of getting a HS diploma because of amazing school services wasn't obvious until he stabilized a few years down the road). But what ended up working was putting my child out (which was after he was an adult, so not an option for you as it was not for us for a few years) and requiring him to develop a plan to come back at the same time as getting optimal medication, which was no small feat.  Between getting medication compliance and getting a doctor who would really listen to him, it was unbelievably difficult.

I just tried to put six years into a couple of short paragraphs.  I hope something I said can give you an idea about your next steps and give you hope.

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