Reply to Fear of an open adoption

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[quote=Anonymous]Most open adoptions are open in that letters and pictures are exchanged - or usually just sent to the birth mom and dad.  We have two adopted kids and that is what open meant for both of the agencies we worked with.  We also have an email account so that our birth families can contact us without going through the agency if they want and have had phone calls with one of our families.  Before we adopted, i was concerned about openness too but have found myself wanting more not less openness as the years have passed.  I think as your children grow up you just want them to be able to know their birthparents if they want to and openness is the only way that happens easily. My advice to you is to recognize that your feelings about all of this will change, maybe a lot, over time and to try to meet the birth families before the birth to try to establish some relationship of trust with them that you can build on over time.  Adoption is a huge leap of faith and trust on all sides, it is only natural to be worried, but you will be amazed and blessed by a birth mother's trust in giving you her child to raise.  And when that happens, it may make all the sense in the world to reciprocate that trust by committing to some level of openness in the process.[/quote]

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